Today I preached my first funeral service. In the past few days that I have been preparing to perform this funeral, I was struck with this thought: "When I die, and the specific preacher is asked to perform my funeral service, what will he think of me and what will those who were close to me inform him about me." Essentially the question is, am I living my life in such a way that people will say about me what I want them to say? What do you want people to say about you when you're gone? When your casket is rested below whatever preacher preaches your funeral and as all your loved ones walk past and gaze at your lifeless body, what comments will be most made? And what comments will not be made based upon the way you lived your life?
Not by coincidence I believe, I read today from Psalm 39, where David writes in verses 4-5, "O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!" I picture David writing this on a starry night as he looks up at the limitless expanse of the heavens and prays to God. He cannot help but realize how enormous and almighty this God is and how he in comparison is so utterly minuscule. David then lumps together the whole of humanity before God in all His glory and says we're only a breath. Isaiah picks up this same theme when he writes in 40:15a and 17, "Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, and are accounted as the dust on the scales…All the nations are as nothing before him, they are accounted by him as less than nothing and emptiness." James the half-brother of Jesus, in the same vein, writes, "yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes" (4:14). Scripture is full of this talk of how small and insignificant we are compared to the infinite and sovereign God of creation. Moses, in the only Psalm that bears his name, writes, "The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty…so teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom" (90:10a, 12).
Nothing…dust…drop from a bucket…mist…breath…emptiness…less than nothing. These are all words that describe you by yourself. You may be thinking, "Wow, Austin, that's pretty shallow of you to say", but is it really? Is it not encouraging to know that the world does not revolve around you? I find comfort in the fact that the second I die, the world will continue moving on and my great great grandchildren will probably not even know my first name. Why and how in my planet can this be comforting? Because I'm a sinner saved by the mercy and grace of God. I have nothing good in and of myself to offer to God that He would accept. The only reason God saved me? Grace. God saved me and transformed my life so that He might reveal to me and the world that encounters me that He is a gracious and loving Heavenly Father. When God shows you that you're nothing without Him, you're in a good place.
To depend on yourself to get things done will mean you do not depend on God. I am not saying, like others have remarked, "Let go and let God". Rather, I am saying, "Do everything you do leaning on and depending in God to work through you". The greatest we can hope to be is a channel of God's grace. You cannot be the source, but He will allow you to be the channel. When we view ourselves the way God views us, we can begin to catch the wonder of God's magnificence and can start seeing the purpose for which He made us.
When you feel your little heart swelling with pride so that you begin thinking more of yourself than you ought, take a walk outside at night away from the city lights and look up at the stars. Take a trip to the beach and just stare out at the vast ocean. Take a stroll through an old cemetery with very few flowers. Never let your little soul forget how much you need God. Then, and only then will you and I be able to live our lives for the glory of the One and Only God of Heaven.
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