I've heard the saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going" and I think it is very true. Oftentimes when things stand in our way of completing whatever task we've been called to complete, we slow down or we forget the necessity of the charge given to us. If we're honest with ourselves, when we know the road ahead is not going to be easy, we prefer shortcuts past the pain instead of through it. When the apostle Paul was saying farewell to the church leaders in Ephesus, he knew that it very well could be the last time he saw them. Picture the scene. Paul, this great man of God who had come to Ephesus with the message of the gospel. As a result of his nearly three years of ministry work among them, practically the whole region heard the message of salvation, churches were started, and several men surrendered their lives to the call of the ministry. Now this champion of the faith was telling the church leaders he had trained that God was calling him elsewhere and that the elsewhere was right into the face of persecution and probably death. There on the sandy beaches of Miletus, Paul said farewell to his closest companions in the faith and did not slow down a single step despite what lay ahead. The hot tears ran down these pastor's faces and they knew that not only was their father in the faith and spiritual mentor leaving them, but death was his next stop. But no tears now or tears later would change Paul's mind.
Let's zoom in and see the picture as Luke lays it out for us in Acts 20:24-28. Over the sound of the tide crashing against the shore, we hear Paul preaching to his young Timothy's and Titus' in the faith as they listen intently to perhaps the last words they would hear him say:
"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. And now, behold, I know that none of you among whom I have gone about proclaiming the kingdom will see my face again. Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all of you, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood."
Paul apparently saw something even more valuable and more precious than his own life. What was so important to Paul that even the possibility of death could not deter him? Being faithful to his calling. And what was his calling? To testify to the gospel of the grace of God and to declare the whole counsel of God. Paul was a missionary at heart and once he knew that his work of getting the gospel to a place was done and churches were planted to carry on the work, he saw his work done and would move on to places where the gospel was not bearing much fruit, even if those places were very hostile to the message and the messenger himself.
I think we can learn much today from Paul's words that day at the seashore. If Jesus has interrupted our life of sin and set up residence within us, we cannot keep silent about the gospel of God's grace. Along with the prophet Jeremiah, we can say, "If I say, 'I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,' there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot." (20:9). Along with Peter and John, we can say, "We cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard" (Acts 4:20). Along with Paul, we can say, "For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" (1 Cor. 9:16). When fear fills our hearts at the suffering we will face for Jesus, the faithfulness to our calling defeats it. If the gospel were something distant from us, some object we were analyzing or studying, than we would not proclaim it at the expense of our lives. But the gospel of God's grace is more to us than a subject to fill our heads with knowledge. The gospel of God's grace is the reality that God was gracious to us when we were rebellious toward Him. God awakened our hearts to new life when we were blinded by our sin and numb to Him. God miraculously changed us and set us on a new path through the truth that Jesus died in our place on the cross and rose again.
But Paul doesn't stop with a reflection on his own calling in life. He then looks each of these men in the face and charges them to fulfill their calling as well. He doesn't tell them things will be easy or give them some fake reassurance that it will all be okay. He knows what the road ahead holds for them because he has been there himself. What he does tell them is to first watch themselves and then watch God's flock. There are many preachers who have done an outstanding job watching over the flock they've been entrusted with while utterly failing to watch themselves. If we pastors fail to watch over ourselves, we cannot succeed in watching over others. Later, Paul would tell Timothy, "Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers" (1 Tim. 4:16). But did Paul have to watch himself? I mean, come on! He was the greatest Christian who ever lived. Who are we kidding?! Oh yeah he had to watch himself. Paul knew his sinful nature better than anybody else. Paul thought of himself as the chief of sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). Nobody knows your sinful nature like you. Nobody else knows the ungodly words that never rise to the surface of your lips, the bitterness that you push down toward others who surround you, or the thoughts that you must cut short that would cost you your family and calling. Paul knew himself and he called these pastors to know themselves. Paul also reminded these pastors that they didn't choose this calling but were rather called out by the Holy Spirit to this calling, so there is no need to worry about the opposition to come as a result of it.
If we desire to face the difficulty that lies ahead in our calling to proclaim the message of the cross to save sinners, we must see that its glory far surpasses our own. We must not fall into the trap of thinking that "our" lives are ours. Instead, we must give ourselves over to the One who gave Himself over to death for us. Only then will we learn that faithfulness defeats fearfulness.
Comments